Back when I was 10 years old Super Street Fighter 2 had been released for the Sega Mega Drive. To this day I can still remember the review it got in Sega Power Magazine. It scored 10 out of 10 and the usual review summary (which weighed up a game’s pros and cons quite sensibly) was scrubbed in favour of “Buy this game. Buy this game. Go on, treat yourself, buy this game”. I tried looking around on the Internet to find the actual review page in some kind of archive but couldn’t – but if that isn’t the exact wording I can tell you it is very close. I remember because I literally shouted the words out at my dad. Who then did indeed treat me (Asda, £50 – ouch, sorry dad).

Back then numbers made sense. I can still remember the playground logic in game appraisals with my partner in crime – who was also an avid fan of Sega Power Magazine (we won’t talk about the matching Sega Power patches stitched onto our jeans). If a game didn’t get a 9 or a 10 (or 90% – 100% depending on what publication you were reading) then it was deemed to be not worthy. How completely immature that is. But that was fine because I was 10. That is a perfect excuse – what excuse can (pretty much) every review site and magazine give for still rating games by giving them numbers?  “This realistic driving game gets a 9, this FPS gets a 7, this old-school rehash gets a 10 just because”. What a load of old cobblers.

All you need to tell me is “go play” or “don’t play”.